Friday, October 7, 2011

Hey! That's mine! Don't shove it up his- too late.

A few months ago I got it into my head that hey, I'm an erotica writer, I really ought to own a sex toy. So I went to this cute little shop and a bought a cute little white-and-lime-green vibrating dildo, the least expensive one there that didn't look diseased or have a random bunny growing out of it. It was girlier and simpler than I would've liked, but I'm also poorer than I like, so I settled on it happily.

Girly. Simple. Inexpensive.

It was not something you would expect to pop up on an S&M toys site geared towards gay males under the name “Ass Rocket Rechargeable Vibe.” But, well That's my Dildo! It's black, but look how awkwardly they're trying to make this thing look bad-ass. I mean, that the lube darkens it is pretty cool, but when I bought it I owned up to its ability to blend in at Limited Too (A tween girl's clothing store).

Dear people trying to make my dildo look awesome,
I appreciate the effort, but please just- just stop.